Feelingless..

I don't know why i can have less feelings towards current problem that we are facing..
Maybe both of us are too tired of it..
There are something which you won't know forever if I don't voice out..
All this while I'm thinking for breaking up with you..
You made me feel insecure all this while..
You asked me what for I want to feel so secure..
It's because I'm scared of losing you..
Loving someone so hard and taking care of someone with a careful heart..
I always scared that I'm not doing well...

I know you well..
I know I won't be your last one..although I tebal muka imagined I'm your last one before..
So I told myself to be prepared..
Because you will leave me one day..
But, I always tell myself cannot give up..
I believe in miracles..
But it has been beaten down by reality..

Every time's argument, I'm the one who apologize..
You think clearly, is it every time also my fault?
I just don't want to burden you..
I just don't want to argue and hurt our feelings..
But your words hurt me a lots..
And I still apologized and pleased for your forgiveness when my heart is bleeding..

Do you know that my heart has been broken into pieces..
And every time I have to collect the pieces by myself..
You will only ask me to look for another guy which is suitable for me..
You are very irresponsible..
Instead of asking me to go for a new guy,
Aren't you suppose to treat me better?
You don't even willing to take initiative to maintain our relationship..

You hurt me badly..
You are the one who made me into cold hearted..
I'm just an ordinary girl who needs care and love..
I'm not strong enough to accept all the hurt you gave me..
I don't know my heart can be sealed for how many times..
But the truth is..the wound are getting deeper and deeper..